Lissiel's Journal

My dad's surgery went well! He's in ICU (or maybe isn't anymore? Was this morning anyway) recovering, and everyone is very happy with his condition, as far as I know. I am kind of unspeakably grateful.

Apparently, my dog has some sort of mild, doggy form of epilepsy? Which means that occasionally his muscles lock up (his paw, which was causing the limp instead of any kind of injury) and he'll shake really bad, and it freaks him out for a little while, but he's basically fine and all I need to to is keep an eye on it in case it gets worse. Of course, the vet says, since we don't know his history and when this started, it MIGHT be a brain tumor. But you wouldn't really know about that unless he had a CAT scan and an MRI, and that'll cost you about 4,000$. I don't have that kind of money, I told him. And he said, that's ok; there wouldn't really be anything we could do for him at that point anyway. -_-; BUT PROBABLY IT'S ALL FINE.

Christmas cards got mailed out! They should arrive reletively soon; maybe not in time for the solstice, but probably before Christmas? Or New Years for those of you who are far off? I hope?

Also, I'm hitting that point of Holiday Cheer where all I want is to curl up on my couch with a cup of tea and a video game, and not talk to anyone for the next year. Not actually helpful! I hope people will forgive me if I'm lamesauce for a while; at least online it shouldn't be so bad. >.>

Went up to Seattle this weekend for the Popcap christmas party. It was... a good experience, overall. Popcap is amazing; you can't NOT want to work for a company that has a Rock Band room, and everyone was super super nice. Seattle, I think, is a place I could be happy, though I kept getting the strongest steam-punk vibe from all the grimy brick. It occurs to me that I may have been living in California too long; I'm walking past all these giant brick buildings and all I can think is "wow--that's going to be rubble first earthquake down the way." Lol. We spent yesterday running around doing stupid tourist stuff; went up the space needle a little after it had gotten dark, some of the only people there, just as it started to snow so that we were standing out on the observation deck watching the snow drift down towards the city lights, sparkling like stars, as our breath puffed out in front of us.

It was fucking REALLY COLD.

Also! The final project for my senior seminar in the English Major is a portfolio of all the writing that you've done over the course of your time in the department. It's over here, in case anyone is curious. It's a lot of school papers, and some fiction (some you may have seen and some I know you haven't). But, I thought I'd point out a bit from the fiction section introduction:

Because of these things, I wrote no fiction at all for the last several years of high school or the early part of my time in college. During my time in college, I met a number of (mostly) young women, some online and some in real life, who took an entirely different approach to the writing of fiction; rather than attempting Great Literature tm, they approached writing as play. Skill with diction and plot development were still important, obviously, but a little clumsiness was part of the game, rather than a mortal sin. They taught me to stand back and take myself and my writing less seriously, and most importantly to have fun with it.

You know who you are. Thank you. <3

RegicidalDwarf, what is that tag you have? "This should teach me, but it won't"? I've written some twenty-one pages in the last three days, and only have...12? Ish? more before class. But that's not till Tuesday! :Db...-_-;

After staying up all night working on my final paper for the class that ended today, I came home and crashed, only to have a very long, very involved dream focused on having to explain to various loved-ones why I can't hang out with them just right now, and having them explain in return that I am a failure as a human being.(a) I. I may be just a tad stressed out right now.

So, classes end tuesday, I go up wednesday to see my parents before they leave to Ohio so he can have major surgery, thursday I cruelly abandon my poor helpless adorable puppy FOREVER in the clutches of OBVIOUSLY HORRIBLE grandma (or so Finn would explain. Actually, she's just watching him until we get back), Friday Michael has a final from 7:15-9:30 and then we're supposed to be on a plane to Seattle at 10:00 so we can meet with the Popcap people, attend their Christmas party, and look at the city/get a feel of where to live. Sunday we get back and I rescue my poor abused abandoned unloved puppy who is hopefully not randomly bleeding like my parents' dog always does when they leave, and I have my first final monday. And my last final is at a time that I still don't know, because the instructor won't get back to me about changing it (the date/time is wrong on the syllabus, and ended up being in the middle of our plane-ride to seattle).

Also, I haven't finished the last winter goddess picture which my mom wanted to print for christmas cards this year--also making me a terrible person--but I do have up through bare flats a hot hot older gentleman in carnivale-getup. And this is like being productive, right? Right? Bueller?

(a)This is not actually so bad. Two nights ago, I was dreaming of having my throat ripped out fighting crazy rottweilers that some asshole had left unleashed and that were attacking Finn. How my brain manages a reasonable facsimile of having the tendons in your neck tear and having your front be all warm and sticky and iron-y with blood, I really don't know. But still. Perspective, I suppose. It could always be worse.

...It's finals almost, I have one semester to graduation and no idea what I'll do then, the holidays and all their attendant craziness are fast approaching, and I have no programming skills whatsoever.

I totally want to spend the next however-many hours designing a flash! dress-up doll, y/n/mfn?

Also? All I have to say about Twilight is Thank you /b/, and WORD.

Or, more realistically, "non-denominational happy-it's-winter cards," except that sounds a bit silly.

If you want to receive a card from me this year, drop me a comment with your name-as-you-want-it-on-your-envelope and the address you want it sent to. Comments to this post will be screened, so you don't have to worry about random people seeing them.

I try to get them out so they arrive by the week before the solstice? Ish? But we'll see how well I have my act together this year. :Db

I thought I'd post some of my favorite veggie-friendly fall recipes. My family can't be the only ones going "oh no--what will so-and-so eat? D:"

Fear not, my friends.

( Carrot Casserole )

( Roasted Pumpkins )

( Veggie Stovetop!style Stuffing )

( 'Chicken' Gravy )

Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World has a delicious-looking but rather complex dessert up, too: Pumpkin Pie Brownies. I may make these this year, if I feel brave. Wish me luck. :Db

-Walked Finn around an increasingly-crowded local park. Christmas displays are A++. Cute construction-worker girl who petted Finn, A++. Creepy-ass hordes of drunk-at-10am businessmen? F-.

-Went to class. This should not feel like an accomplishment.

-Did not nap! (self, why are you so tired all the time these days, wtf?)

-Sat around on the couch for a few hours, vaguely screwing around on the computer and sulking for all the time that I wasn't napping.

-Did my reading for American Lit. :Db Poe is kind of fucking awesome; somehow, I always forget.

-Realized that filing my graduation paperwork meant I had to start figuring out wtf I'm going to do with myself after school. Since it looks like we won't be moving to Seattle after all--or, at least, not in January anyway--I get to start back at the beginning on this. Just as I had gotten accustomed to the idea, too. >:( Spent two hours or so crying/freaking out my dog.

-Half-way done with the AmerLit paper I was supposed to be writing yesterday. >.> This is...like progress?

-Lost two turns to re-reading bits of Z/C/S christmas-fluff. Did not pass 'Go'. Paper still incomplete.

-Moar screwing around on the internet, IJ not least. Sigh. Can I just hide now?

OBAMA WON!!!!!

I was linked to this from one of the election threads I'm following tonight and...I mean, it might be kind of late to say anything else about prop 8, I just. I got to about halfway through, when Rabbi Feinstein said, "My faith supports the right to marry, because as a Jew, I have the responsibility to fight for justice, to act towards righteousness, and to help bring goodness into the world," and I started crying like a little baby. I type this right now with a little white furry nose tucked firmly under my chin, because Finn hates it when I look upset.

You hear so much about people of faith fighting this, tooth and claw, about the depths they'll sink to in order to deny that LGTB people are people too...Hearing these ministers, priests, rabbis talking about a loving G-d, about faiths and communities that are welcoming and loving and supportive for ALL their members... it was powerful, ok?

It was powerful.

So, I'd guess you're all really sick of hearing me talk about the election, but... It's important. We'll be back to regularly scheduled programming after the 4th. In the meantime:

http://theremina.livejournal.com/224143.html
This link is a video by a woman who wanted to capture the behavior of Yes on 8 protesters. She didn't interact with them or go closer to them than four feet until they approached her. She was screamed at, verbally threatened, had her phone stolen, and assaulted.

We can't let this kind of person dictate our moral choices. We CAN'T. We are BETTER than this.

I'm going to be joining the protests against Prop 8 Sunday and Monday here in San Jose. If you live in California, you can sign up at this webpage to join a protest in your city. Please-- talk to people. Display a sign, if you can get one, or wear a button or post in your blog or join a protest. Fight this. And most importantly--VOTE. This isn't an issue you can afford to leave to someone else. It's really not.

OH NOES!!!!1 THAT POOR CUTE LITTLE GIRL FORCED TO SEE HER DIRTY LESBIAN TEACHER GET MARRIED!!!! WHAT DO HER PARENTS THINK?



...Er, wait. What? Yes on 8, surely you didn't just...

Protecting the children, huh? How 'bout protecting them from political exploitation first?

Also? This is fabulous. <3


/Edit: And WTF is this? THREATS now? Yes on 8 has to try and extort donations? ...maybe, you know, if you have to lie to and threaten people in order to convince them? Maybe you're wrong.

I think I might attempt Nanowrimo again this year. There's kind of a lot going on, and although I have a tentative timeline for things, I still don't have my plot actually laid out, and the chances of my actually making 50,000 are slim-to-none, but...

I have some characters I really like, male and female characters I think I can feel good about. I have a setting in the north of France in 1942-3, though I still need to narrow it down to a city. I have some idea of what needs to happen, and how it should end.

I think this year, though, what I'm going to do is set up a filter on this journal and post bits of the story to it as I write--character sketches, scenes, worldbuilding, etc--to see if having it collected will help. And since I'm going to do that, I'm wondering if there's anyone who'd like to see it? I can't make any promises on quality, since this'll be pretty hastily written and non-edited, but...If people are curious, feel free to comment here and I'll add you.

/edit: ALSO! If you're also participating this year and want to be writing buddies, I'm Mitsuhachi over there too. :)

Here's the deal: you give me a subject (character, object, place) and some sort of prompt, and come the end of December I'll give you something, without any promises about what it'll be. You might get a new icon, or a drabble, or a sketch or a full-out picture or story, but you'll have SOMETHING for your stocking come Yule-time.

If you are reading this, you are welcome to ask for something.

I'll leave this post stickied at the top of my journal until December too, in case you want to come back to it later.

I've been bad lately and either forgetting to eat entirely or eating a lot of rice-inna-box or pasta-inna-box, so when Michael went to the store the other day, he came home with THE WORLD'S MOST GIGANTIC BAG OF APPLES EVAR. <3

So today for lunch, I'm sitting here, looking around my kitchen, which contains:
One(1) left-over ciabatta roll from the mushroom sammiches last night,
Half a bag of cheddar/jack shredded cheese,
About a teaspoon left of a jar of crushed garlic preserved in oil, and
THE WORLD'S MOST GIGANTIC BAG OF APPLES EVAR.
And also is stupidly hot (wtf, it's October already, it should not be 86*). And I made the most delicious sammiches ever.

If you wanna make the most delicious sammiches ever, this is what you do:
Cut the roll in half, and lay it out on a plate you can microwave, cut sides up. If you have other kinds of bread, this is still probably good. Pumpernickle would probably be stupidly good.

Spread some of the garlic over one slice. If you don't have crushed-oil garlic, fresh chopped garlic and a little tiny bit of butter would probably be good too. I wouldn't use the powdered stuff though--that sounds like it'd be weird.

Cover both slices with the cheese. Next time, I'm totally making this with all cheddar.

Pop the whole thing in the microwave for a minute or so--however long it takes to melt the cheese. Meanwhile, slice up half an apple. Eat the other half, or hold onto it, or feed it to overly-pushy dogs whose favorite food is whatever-mommy-is-eating.

Take the plate out, carefully cause it's probably hot, and layer the sliced apple bits on one side, and moosh the other side over on top of them. This is probably good with a nice dark beer if you like that, or with cold apple juice if, like me, you don't.

Probably you all know about the pitched campaign that the Church of Latter-day Saints is waging on behalf of Prop 8. Maybe you've read news articles about it, or seen some of their adds. Lately, they've had a flyer--also used by other opponents of equal marriage rights--on the supposed consequences of not passing Prop 8.

This morning, a morman lawyer posted a memo on why this entire argument is "untrue" and "misleading". To those in support of Prop 8: If you have to lie to reasonable people to convince them to vote yes, then what does that say about your valid arguments? Lies and bigotry speaks poorly of ANY religion.

http://www.noonprop8.com/downloads/Thurston-Memo.pdf

I've been riding the buses a lot lately. Not to get anywhere, just to ride. Also, my sleeping habits are shot to hell; I keep sleeping when I'm not tired just to avoid having to figure out what to do with myself, and then not being able to sleep all night because of nightmares/worrying/my brain generally hating me. These are not good signs for me.

Michael is being really successful right now with his programming thing--he was in the print version of the Wall Street Journal for crying out loud!--and Popcap basically told him, "tell us what we'd have to offer you to hire you right now". Which, I mean, is a great opportunity for him, and I totally do support him in pursuing it and everything, cause I mean...who gets that kind of offer? But... I don't know. I'm going to graduate pretty soon, and I don't know what I'm going to do with myself at that point. I don't want to be that far away from my family and all my friends--that kind of isolation was 90% of why I hated Hawaii so bad, and it's like...now we're going to do that again? And also I'm starting to feel kind of like...not like I'm in competition with someone exactly, but like I have to keep up with someone really driven and successful and ambitious, and it's been pretty thoroughly demonstrated that I don't do well with that.

I don't know what the hell I'm doing, and I'm really sick of losing everything and having to start over from the beginning precisely as soon as I start to feel like maybe I've got my shit halfway together.

Today is mine and Michael's anniversary. We've been together for five years. O.O It...both seems entirely impossible that it's been that long and odd in that I keep thinking it's been longer. Oh, brain, you just keep on failin' ok? <3

He got me a pumpkin shaped, pumpkin pie scented candle about the size of two fists, and an adorable pumpkin shaped candy jar. My boy, he knows me so well. I'm taking him out to dinner at the fondue place he likes, and then we're going to go see quarantine tonight, which we've both been looking forward to for a while.

Five years. Damn.

It's been a good ride, so far. <3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbiO5qDfGS0

My capstone class is doing a student-led writing workshop tomorrow, for which they've asked us to bring a page of fiction that we've written. Ok. So I am going through my documents folder, looking over the stuff I've written. And I've come to something of a conclusion.

I CAN'T BRING THIS SHIT IN. D:

I have:

1. Ridiculously old things that make ME cringe to read, much less allowing anyone else to see.
2. Weird romance-bits--queer things, polyamourous pairings, really broken and unhealthy relationships. Just. No. Not in a class where I have to convince people I'm not a creepy perv for the rest of the semester, thank you.
3. Fanfiction. Right. Because that's a good way to get people to take your writing seriously. But that's the thing! *I* don't take my writing seriously anymore! And I don't even think I have anything where I could file off the serial numbers and have it still make sense/have a point.

*cries* I'm going to die. T^T

Edit: In case anyone wanted to know how my trip down south with the GPS worked out...

Took Michael to the Airport this morning, to make sure the GPS worked before I headed down south this weekend.

Have named GPS "Cobalt", because it gives me orders and makes me cry.

Me: This is a parking lot. THIS IS A PARKING LOT, why do you want me to turn into a parking lot?!

Cobalt: Calculating new route. :D

Me: *cries*